Is Flirting Taboo?

Are you flirty by nature? 

 

Have you ever watched little kids flirt?

woman and children taking photo
Photo by kelvin octa on Pexels.com

It’s natural to them. They don’t shut it down or make themselves wrong for it and it doesn’t mean anything, right?

What is it that changes as we mature into adulthood?

Have you ever been in a relationship and you just knew that flirting wasn’t “okay” outside the two of you?

Did you also notice as you shut that down, you shut down the flirting with your person too?

and what did that change?

I’ve been single for several years now… I’ve had one conventional love affair since my divorce and while there where many delicious pieces to it, it was clear that being me, didn’t work for him.

On the other side of letting go of that relationship, I became really aware that the places that I am unwilling to commit to someone and even something, are the places that ask me to be someone else.

Do you label yourself afraid of commitment, emotionally unavailable or something else when you “can’t” seem to make a relationship work?

What if you are secretly unwilling to compromise you?

I went on a beach walk with a male friend of mine and while we we strolling along the beach having a great conversation, the topic of dating each other came up and as I listened to his idea of relationship, it hit me, I don’t actually believe I desire a one on one partnership, relationship or any other definition of the sorts.

As our conversation continued, it helped me to clarify for myself just how much I am not willing to give up any part of me.

He talked about making adjustments…

Nope, don’t care to do that.

He talked about it being normal to compromise…

nope, not interested in that either.

and as we continued the walk, I looked at him and said, You know, we’re having an incredible time together right in this very moment.  We are friends, sharing great conversation, flirting with each other and completely innocent.

and

If either of us were in a relationship, we wouldn’t choose this moment and if I chose a relationship with you (him), I would cut off other connections like this one, even though it wouldn’t jeopardize my relationship.

In this society, once committed to one person, creating connections with someone of the same gender as your partner becomes taboo.

What is that?

 

He stopped and stood there for a moment and then we both agreed, dating wouldn’t actually work.

I left that experience with some great awareness of where I am at in my life today around relationships.

  • I adore MEN
  • I love dating
  • I am really great at relationships

and

  • I am incredibly open and vulnerable to the world
  • I am flirty by nature
  • I desire to create connections all over the world with all sorts of people and it just doesn’t work for me to answer to someone else’s expectations.

What is possible from here?

and

Where did we decide as a whole, that choosing someone to walk through life next to means, every other being on the planet needs to become invisible?

Are you somebody who requires that you be the one and only?

Have you ever noticed how much of the world that cuts off?

How much more could we create in relationship if we all just loved moment by moment and realized…..

Nothing outside of you is ever about you…

What does your relationship or desire to have one, look like now?

hmmm….

Michelle Lyall

 

 

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